I recall many times trying to persuade my elderly father – who cared for my mother who had Alzheimer’s disease – to move closer to me to make life easier – but looking back, it was to make life easier for me – not for my dad. We lived in the same small village but I didn’t realise just how important his neighbours were to him. Hindsight is indeed a wonderful thing and looking back, he was so right to stick to his guns and stay put – his neighbours were, on many occasions, his saviour.
Now that’s not to say they were constantly in each other’s houses – quite the opposite but they were ‘there’. Most often ‘unseen and unheard’ but they were ‘there’.
If we have good neighbours then I feel we are blessed. Family just can’t always be on hand, even if they live locally. They have their own lives to live – and if they have elderly parents, then the chances are they also have grandchildren in their lives who they will want to devote time to. A good neighbour is just someone who is aware and quietly vigilant. Someone who would notice if your curtains haven’t been drawn back for a day or so. Someone who takes it upon themselves to knock on your door in inclement weather to see if you need anything from the shops whilst they’re going. Someone who is ‘there’.
But there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed. Because your neighbours also have their own families and friends …… and commitments. Out of the kindness of their hearts they’re keeping an eye on you – they’re silently monitoring your movements. But a good balance is essential to keep both sides of this ‘relationship’ happy. My dad’s neighbours literally saved his life on more than one occasion. They heard the sound of him fall, through the walls of their semi detached house and on one occasion, saw him topple when walking down his path on his way to meet up with a friend. They made arrangements for hospital admissions and called me at work so that I could rush to my fathers side – they were ‘there’.
So – we should never underestimate the importance of having good neighbours – but, unless its of mutual agreement, that relationship shouldn’t be abused. Good neighbours are an absolute gift. They are kind, generous, giving – but most importantly, they are ‘there’
by Francine
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